on Windows 10, Art Work, and Self Care

posted in: Creations, KieryGeek, Misc, webcomic | 0

I was apprehensive about updating my laptop to Windows 10, especially after getting it and needing to wait for patches for games to work on Windows 8. Since the entire reason I have a windows laptop is to play PC games, it seemed like a good idea to not rush into upgrading until I knew I would still be able to play something.

But the other thing I was waiting for was the roll-out, because Win10 launches on a rollout so the other day I got the notification that it was ready (and that I could switch back) so I thought I’d give it a try.

First of all, everything still seems to run – Guild Wars2, Origin, Minecraft, Steam. And Secondly, my laptop has finally come to grips with it being a laptop and gotten rid of the tablet interface and strange outside-of-desktop fullscreen apps. Which means, there’s a twitter client, and I’m not accidentally popping out to the start screen at random, and the UI is generally nicer and easier to use because it’s in laptop mode. Of course, if you have one of those “it’s a laptop! it’s a tablet! what is it even!” computers, there is a tablet mode for you.

So, I like it, and I can play my games, and have twitter open on the desktop instead of in browser, and Microsoft Edge is actually a pretty nice browser.

I haven’t drawn a proper E.R.A. comic in a couple weeks and I’ve been feeling guilty. It’s not that I don’t want to or I’m lacking motivation (it’s not), it’s just that the last couple weeks have been intense. I don’t want to apologize for not drawing because of exhaustion or need to self-care, but I did realize something – a couple things actually.

1. I make my best art when my physical and mental health is taken care of. Depressed Kiery’s art is still (pretty decent) art but it’s not as good as the things I’m capable of making when I’m actually doing okay.

Which, has what to do with E.R.A., exactly? I draw when I’m not okay all the time, in fact I make a lot of angsty comics because they’re important for my mental health and they’re great – I often keep coming back to reference the comics I made out of frustration because they’re powerful and they stick. But unlike the one-shots I usually do, E.R.A. is a story with a lot of arcs and… I’m going to be honest here – it terrifies me.

I’m not used to writing long stories that don’t end after 10 panels or go on longer than the length of a children’s book. I don’t even think I’ve successfully written anything longer than a short story for NaNoWriMo.

E.R.A. is a story that I feel like needs to be written regardless of how much it terrifies me and makes me stare at my insecurities about my ability to write interesting fiction. I think about it all the time, I have pages of notes that are arcs ahead of where we are right now that are constantly be added to and revised and the world is growing. It’s really magical and amazing and scary.

So sometimes, if I am as utterly exhausted as I have been, and it’s all I can manage to doodle to a prompt…..I don’t end up sitting down for hours to draw E.R.A. because I know I’ll scrap it. I’ll be spending energy becoming frustrated because it’s not what I know I could make it be if I only just let myself rest. So instead, I rest, and come back to it stronger and better and prettier, and make something I’m at least a little more proud of than I would have been if I had made it when I was burnt out, just to say that I had made it that week. I really want E.R.A. to take off massively and my theory is that it has to be consistent in order for that to happen, but sometimes, I just can’t.

And I think that’s okay. Because I make the rules for this particular comic, and I want it to be as amazing as I imagine it. It’s a process and I’m not there yet, but I know the days I’m incapable of even coming close and those are the days when everything else is telling me that I need to rest.

2. My health and sanity is more important than my productivity.

It feels scary to be writing that professionally, but it’s true. If I want to keep making art (and writing code) I need to remember that productivity shouldn’t come at the expense of my health and calm, because I need both of those in order to make anything and be able to actually live. That I make cool things is just a perk of me being me, it’s not my point or value. I’m saying this just as much for myself (and for coming back and reminding later) as anything. My value is inherent and it’s not based on what I make even though what I make has the potential to be really amazing (and I hope it is).

So at like 4 this morning I finally reached a point where I was calm, and I’m just going to spend the rest of the day trying to stay in that zone and have some Kiery chill time.

Games I’m Looking Forward To From PAXPrime 2015

posted in: Gaming, KieryGeek | 0

So I wandered a lot around the indie game area of PAX and played some games, talked to some devs, and generally found some really cool things that I’m looking forward to and ended up getting beta keys, or put on email lists, and little cards about to follow along.

The games I’m watching

Creativerse – it’s really fun, think minecraft but with PVP built in, blueprints, and teleporting, and super immersive.

Necropolis – The art is what really captured me. I didn’t end up playing this one, but damn is it gorgeous. Talked to one of the people at the booths and it sounds fantastical.

Gigantic – this was huge at PAX, and it looks super fun – the art is really interesting to me.

Infinifactory – SUPER FUN LOOKING PUZZLE GAME OF BUILDING THINGS, available on steam, coming to PS4. Found this entirely by accident in the indie megabooth trying to get out of people’s way, so happy I did.

Sword Coast Legends – this one I think has been getting the most press, because it’s Dungeons and Dragons. Dungeons and Dragons games are The Games I Stand In Line For At PAX apparently, annnnnd playing it was really fun. It’d be a great way to play D&D long distance since one player can be a DM and then you have 4 others in the party. I was a dwarf paladin, and I was the only one in my party who didn’t wipe. ahahaha. Seriously, fun shit though.

And lastly,

Commander Kamala – surprisingly enough, may be the one I’m looking forward to the most. I usually SUCK at space-shooters but I tried this one, and talked to the sole(!!!!!!!) developer on the project and I’m actually super excited about it. It’s really fun, and for someone who sucks at these kinds of games, being actually able to PLAY it is really rad. Plans are to release it in 2016, and I really really want to stream it, so maybe. Also there’s a dog. Also female protagonist. Anyway, it’s rad.

PAX Recap/ Conthroat 2015

posted in: Gaming, KieryGeek | 0

Here’s the thing about PAX. You’re surrounded by creative people for 3-4 days, you see all of the things they made, you hear them talk about it, you get to demo their ideas. You get to ask the people who actually work on the thing about the thing and it’s totally invigorating.

Makes me feel more pumped about my own projects, and it’s beautiful.

All I want to do right now is make a lot of things. Pick E.R.A. back up, make some vlogs, livestream some games, even gasp talk to people.

But here’s my problem:

I can’t. Because I have convention throat. So my voice is like, not a thing, right now, and my sinuses are a horrible mess, so I’m sitting on all this creative energy unable to do anything because I’m in a brain fog and only thinking about hydrating and sleep. And taking theraflu.

So I’m trying to hold on to that. To hold on to that feeling and energy until I can brain enough (and stop coughing for long enough) to make some cool shit.

PAX is great because it revamps my creative juices. Just gotta kick the nerdflu.


posted in: Film, KieryGeek | 1

I’ve been wanting to do #VEDA (Vlog Every Day in August) for a while now, but just never have.

This year I’m going to actually try to do it.

So if you want to follow along, I’ll be using Vimeo because my phone doesn’t upload to youtube, and @KieryGeek on twitter will autopost when a new one is up. I’ll post on patreon links to it too, and facebook, and probably here, maybe, we’ll see.

See you…tomorrow…I guess.


posted in: KieryGeek | 0

WarlockSo I’ve been playing Destiny, and it’s not usually my kind of game. It’s FPS for one thing and Multiplayer for another, and I usually like soloing and not playing with people – so when the only way to level is to raid with 5 other people……it can make for a frustrated Kiery. However, in a surprising turn of events, I’ve really enjoyed it. The100 is a great way to find groups, and mine is really low-key and nice and have been pleasant to game with and I don’t feel unsafe with them.

All that to say, I finally got my Warlock to level 32, and yet…AND YET…still have not gotten ONE exotic weapon drop from ANYTHING. I’ve been working my butt off doing bounties and crucible but Iron Banner and buying helmets from Xur are the only reason I’ve made any progress at all. I got my first exotic bounty on Saturday night because apparently I just finally turned enough bounties in (IDEFK) to get one, so I’ve been playing through the Strike Playlist to make progress on acquiring my first-ever exotic weapon, which will be Bad Juju.

I also started a Titan in hopes maybe it’s just my main that is somehow under a Bungie Curse Of No Loot and to increase my chances of exotic drops, but that little Exo is only level 2.

Anyway, I had to hit cap before I got a fucking exotic bounty and have yet to receive ANY drops, but I FINALLY have one, and I’m happy about it. Hopefully this ends the no-drop curse and I actually start getting things now, because seriously……

The Future

Dream job didn’t pan out, and the Ruby Academy was cutting it too close to moving for my sanity, so I decided to go to plan C….

Which is basically do more of my own thing, quietly. But maybe not so quietly.

I recently snagged a Nerd Deal bundle full of game dev and game design courses, which means I have something to do in preparation for the April Ludum Dare!

This also opens up time for me to actually work on those Ruby projects I’ve been sitting on….

After I move I’m looking forward to getting back to making shit again – learning Ruby and javascript (again, for real), C# and Unity and game design and how to make game art, doing several game jams, and making more comics – maybe FINALLY making the comic hosting alt I’ve been wanting to exist for ever.

Making the things I want to see in the world is what I’m basically about anyway.


In the meantime, you can find me playing (and possibly streaming) Destiny.

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