Tag Archives: birthday

Change

Last year, I wrote about how I felt different on my birthday, because I had finally given myself permission to live. I referred back to that permission throughout the year in different ways, and I think I’ll continue to refer back to it (remembering, that being myself is a life journey, not something accomplished in one go – I am allowed to reinvent and renew myself as much as I want to). This year though, I don’t feel different. I am different. I’ve changed – more over the last year than I have in a while, but especially more over the last three years than I have since I was young.

I like it, I like looking back and realizing that I can see how far I’ve come, and that I’ve traveled far.

I started a health/fitness quest – which is very much a journey. I haven’t been perfect, or strictly disciplined, but I think I’ve learned how to listen to my body, and I think I’ve gotten better at it. Progress is slow, but rewarding in the little things. The fact that I’ve actually started it and stuck with it is change – I never gave a second thought about my body until I realized something wasn’t balanced correctly. That decision lead to getting help for my PMDD/depression (evening primrose, progesterone, and vitex weren’t enough to battle it – I tried), which is quite possibly the best personal-help decision I’ve made in the last year.

I think I have become braver, or at least more honest with myself. I’ve started to embrace the slightly more ethereal, prose-like, bashfully eloquent bits of myself that so easily run into hiding.

I’ve done things that I used to talk myself out of. A mental breakdown in March lead to the birth of a youtube channel and the introduction to so many wonderful amazing people that I can’t imagine not knowing. I’ve learned to value those meltdown moments, because for some reason, after working through them – I find a sense of clarity, and I know myself better than I had before. My psyche and subconscious had a voice and I learned the importance of centering myself, patience, and drive.

I remember where I was on my birthday last year, and I’ve changed so much. I’m looking forward to continuing the journey I started last year, and granting myself new permission to just revel in life this year; to keep doing what I’m doing, and have new experiences (to go, where no kiery has gone before).

Make it so.

 

New Things and Accomplishments

Last year, around this time, I made a list of 21 things I wanted to do (because I turned 21):

212012

 

I’m really proud of myself for getting so much of it done! This year I just put down a lot of things I wanted to do between 2.28.13 and 2.28.14:

2013things

 

“old things” are things maybe I started doing last year, or wanted to do and hadn’t done; “new things” are things that I haven’t put on a list or done before or in a really long time. I want to remind myself to read more, I maybe finished one or two books last year, so one a month would be a good starting point.

I bought pink dye (Manic Panic: cotton candy) at Newbury on Saturday, so I can haz pink hairs whenever it won’t interfere with continuity, and piercings when it won’t interfere with continuity (but I didn’t pre-buy the earrings ;)). I have tickets to Friday and Sunday of PAX East! I’m 2 levels away from hitting cap, I’ve finished 1 of 12 books, started learning Ruby via Team Treehouse, and playing with Rum and Coke – Gin and Vermouth are next on the list.

*This list currently excludes film/production related goals such as: become an epic makeup artist, costumer extraordinaire, and killer actress.

2013, I AM IN YOU (you know, 2 months late, but it’s my birthday, and the year doesn’t start until 2.28, right? we can pretend…)