FUNDED.

I actually knew I was funded the day I left for PAX, but it kept going between feeling real and not feeling real yet. I was worried that everyone would take back their pledges last minute and I’d just be one of the many un-funded projects for reasons – like, I don’t know, the creative police coming to my door and being like, hey, no, you don’t get to do this, you CLEARLY don’t know what you’re doing and aren’t really creative anyway. And then they’d take all the money I didn’t have yet and give it to someone else; or pocket it….

But that didn’t happen, and as the seconds ticked away the total amount I made was $1,415. Perfect because when I got home from PAX our apartment roof had leaked and soaked our mic, so now I can afford to replace it with a better mic, which means better audio for everyone!

Anyway, now that the kickstarter is officially over and I don’t have it hanging over my head, I feel like I can actually think about the next steps. I tried, and I got as much as I could done, but it was really hard because it still felt so unsure.

I acquired an HD game recorder at PAX (because I’m married to a sweet person who fronted me the cash). I got the elgato Game Capture HD, and I can’t wait to try it out, because it’s supposed to be really awesome and the owner/creator of it that I talked to at the booth was really great and helpful and open about it and what it did and didn’t do (and is going to do, etc). Score!

While I waited today, I compiled all of the PAX footage, and also added in the promised twerking attempt. See below:

Week in Review

I’ve never felt the need to wear makeup, and only applied it rarely – usually focusing on eyes, because no one kisses my eyelids. I think some of it was because I was given the ability to wear makeup when I was 13 and just never had the desire. It was one of those things where it was available, I felt, to cover up the imperfections on my face and serve as a mask to hide the things that I should be ashamed of (or at least feel the need to hide). I subscribed to the reasoning that if people didn’t like me because I didn’t wear makeup or cover my acne, then I didn’t really want to be friends with them anyway. So I didn’t put any effort into either skin care or makeup. When I did start to wear makeup, at 17, it was because I felt the need for a mask – psychologically, makeup presented that option. So for much of my life I’ve equated the frequent wearing of makeup to wearing a mask. In a way, with filming that’s still true – but I never saw the creativity in it, just a barrier to hide imperfections or flaws behind.

The last week has shaken that theory. Instead of building a psychological wall, the face is just another kind of canvas – and makeup just another kind of medium. Over the week I’ve done lots of crazy shit with my face. I did this kind of heavy winged look with eyeshadow (which is sort of becoming my paint of choice, as I had no idea how versatile it could be with just adding a little bit of water to the brush), made designs and played with various kinds of eyeliner. I have black and sparkle pen, pencil and liquid eyeliner, and a purple cream eyeliner. I learned Tuesday, that my lines are straighter when I use cream eyeliner as opposed to the other kinds. I think it’s because it’s harder to move, so I can take my time on it and it won’t squiggle as much – I could however, do with the brush being less pokey.

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purple

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Today’s makeup is purple because I wanted to play with my plum eyeliner. Cream eyeliner is hard to get used to at first – mostly just the brush, but I’m actually better at putting that on than all the other kinds I’ve tried/have – so that’s good news. When I was done with everything I powdered my face with elf’s high definition powder, and I think it’s going to be a staple for Hendstrom because it really does smooth everything out.

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I meant to take the picture earlier (before the gloss wore off) and in front of the greenscreen, but I ate lunch and then the camera died. Browns and blacks – it matches my “I logged out for this?!” shirt that came in from jinx today. ^.^