This blog is not by any means a place for expert advice, at best it’s the general wanderings and musings and evolution of “the process” – my process, a process, some kind of process; inexperienced me attempting to get somewhere and hopefully be better at it. Posts change with moods and whims because my interests change and vary – it’s a weird thing about my personality. Sometimes, when I feel I’m making progress and then something happens where I feel like I’ve gone backwards I take it pretty hard.

I made a ton of progress with my face over the last few weeks. Actually my skin was clearing up and evening out, and acne was going away. All the things I should have learned and done years ago. Then I started breaking out again – I didn’t know why, and then I realized that the only thing I changed was adding moisturizer. I stayed away from it forever because I have very active oil glands – but I thought I should get some because of all the stripping of oils I was doing. I felt really sad about it, strangely enough. Because I’ve never seen my skin clear that way and I almost panicked. It’s easier to apply makeup when I’m not battling acne and acne scars.

So, I remembered something else that I overlooked – I wasn’t drinking a ton of water. Usually, I have an okay water intake, but sometimes in the winter I forget about water and opt for tea because it’s warm and I’m usually just trying to keep my fingers at body temperature. I decided a few days ago to re-up my water intake and see if it helped. Surprisingly enough, between drinking close to 40 oz. of water a day (there should be more, I know) and giving my skin a break and *not* applying moisturizer, it’s starting to calm down again.

I guess all I wanted to say was, I LEARNED A THING! Water really does help clear up skin. Water, and lemon-honey mixture on the face. Apparently moisturizer however, does not agree with my lebanese/portuguese skin type.

Last day of the cleanse. If you followed on tumblr (or have just been following along), you know I didn’t stick with it to the letter. Especially after realizing how corporate it was and not being able to bring myself to eat beef on the first beef day.

I didn’t lose ALL the pounds, but I wasn’t trying to (and I think it would have been unhealthy for me if I had). I am slightly more toned (thanks to added bits of exercise), my insides feel much less grumpy and I feel like I know my body better than when I started. So I’m going to go ahead and call it a success.

I refuse to be a failure

Fruit-only day was the hardest. Banana and Soup day was the easiest (and tastiest). Meat days were weird – I was much thirstier on those days and drank a lot more water, which was what I was supposed to do, it was just much easier.

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Dinner Day 3:

Mcdonalds’ side salad with italian dressing and a bite of a home-made whoopie pie (and one sip of Dr Pepper). Totally not on the plan, but this girl made it and it was good, and the salad was the best I could do under the circumstances. I’m also drinking lightly sweetened tea because I ran out of water before we got to the game place at 6:15 – we left at 10:15 and got home 10 minutes ago.

My tummy feels a little weird now, I think a mix between being cold/wet and the burst of sugar.

But that’s okay. Because I weighed the choices and I don’t feel guilty about it. I’ve had a back-up plan to fall back to normalcy if I feel like I need to (because I never know if I’m eating enough, because I eat less than everyone I know).  So taking a bite of a home-made cookie, and a sip of soda (because MY GOD italian dressing is way spicier than I thought), and eating more salad dressing than I have all week isn’t going to ruin me, or the cleanse, because it’s about being better not perfect. Stronger, not inflexible.

I’m free to re-evaluate at any time, but I think I’m going to stick it out for as long as I can. I get bananas tomorrow, and soup, and then meat! ha.

EDIT: I just drank a ton of water, tummy is less weird now, but I feel like a bubble.

So I’m doing a cleanse, that is called the GMS diet or something. People say you can lose a lot of weight doing it, that’s not actually my goal – I’m doing it because I feel like my digestive system just needs a “hard reset” and it’s been finicky lately.

Today is was day one, and I’ve only eaten fruits and water except for the cup of black coffee I’m sipping on because of a headache (apparently lightheaded-ness is common).

Tomorrow, is vegetables only. I plan on eating a baked potato when I get up, and having a spinach salad with tomato, carrots, and my attempt at making my own dressing for dinner and/or lunch. I’ll probably munch on carrots during the day. I meant to pick up Asparagus, but I forgot, so I may do that and broil or sauté it with some garlic.

Thursday, I can do both fruits and vegetables. I’ll have spinach salad with strawberries, and maybe I’ll cook some carrots, tomatoes, and spinach in some garlic for dinner and have apples on the side. I’ll also start cutting things to make soup.

Friday, I can have bananas, milk, and soup. I plan on having a banana and strawberry smoothie, or maybe throwing spinach in there too if I don’t sauté it and have it on the side, I’ll have soup for dinner and snack on either carrots or bananas, unless I still have strawberries.

Saturday, I can start eating meat again. I’ll have a steak salad with tomatoes, and soup, and maybe some sort of beanless-noodle-less chili with fresh tomatoes. If we go out, I’ll have salads.

Sunday, I know we’re going out, so I’ll have whatever has beef and vegetables on the menu. Maybe I’ll even make some beef and brocolli.

Monday, is the last day, and I’m going to try making a beef-chinese-esque-stir fry with brown rice, beef, bell pepper, onions, and maybe some pineapple on the side.

The hardest part, so far, is remembering to drink all the water. Especially because I’m estimating with my water bottle. But I’ve drank a lot so far, I’m on my last two “glasses” (or as I’m guestimating – full water bottle),  -I actually feel a little less bloaty than when I started out this morning (which I’m sure has nothing to do with peeing a lot more than usual)- and keeping myself from grabbing a piece of bread, or a cookie, or Alex’s dinner.

It takes a bit more self control than I imagined, even though I do like eating fruit… a lot. But I think today is probably the hardest, and tomorrow. After that, more variety. And I have this to come back to for noming ideas.

I think setting things out in meal-like-shapes is going to be better for me. Dinner felt better than just eating fruit from the fridge like I had been doing all day, I think because it was all there and took less constant thought than, “should I grab the apple or the orange?” intermittently throughout the day.

Fruit Dinner