Tag Archives: unstress

Paring Down (and other thoughts)

I sort of re-evaluted some things in my art journal the other day. I’ve been feeling frustrated, some of it is due to not having a high enough dose of antidepressants which I fixed last week, and some of it is due to the fact that I can tell I’m quickly heading toward burnout and I’m not doing enough of what I actually want to be doing.

journalI have a problem with saying yes without thinking. Usually this is a good thing, but then I get overwhelmed. I’m split from what I want to do and doing something that I also want to do but it’s not the thing I want to do it’s just a thing I’m doing because it seemed like a good idea.

I’m doing lots of these things. I’ve brought it upon myself – I put a lot of expectations on myself and I need to pare those down. I need to pursue the things that make me happy – I started doing that, actually, between my comics and submitting my vlog to the G&S Vlog channel, I’m really proud of myself and feel oh so alive.

I’ve decided that I’m not going to pursue programming as a vocation. I’ll do wordpress/troubleshooting for friends/personal projects, so I can do what I do better.

This is such an awkward post to write. To the people I’m doing internet stuff with/for – still doing it. I won’t leave you hanging.

Rain is one of my favorite artists. Whenever she writes there’s some part of my soul that murmurs yes. I want to be ethereal like that, some part of me longs to touch the blades of grass like Willow and feel how the entire earth is connected through roots and energy. It ignites. But that’s not my voice; I feel like it’s a part of me that is there, but waiting. Like a surprise present – it’ll come out when I’m ready, in it’s own way, in it’s me-ness (which probably won’t look anything like my lovely bohemian sister-warrioress). My voice will evolve into whatever it needs to be. Right now, it’s cognitive, I live within my head: thinking, writing, drawing, processing; and I like that I found it.

Tomorrow is our 4th anniversary(!!!!!), It’s pretty cool, I’m excited. We’ve both come such a long way since then, it’s kind of hard to imagine (though, mostly due to embarrassment) – I’m so happy we’ve evolved.

Tonight I’m picking up some more Legion of Everblight minis. I’ve been paranoid I’ll forget all day, but I won’t. Thursday or Friday I’m going to film an actual KieryGeek episode, and then next week I’ll have another #mattandkieryvsstripsearch hangout. I also started a series called The Acceptance Chronicles, where I process puberty and hope it’s funny. ^Things that make me happy.

 

warmth

FLEECE!

I have a fleece jacket, it’s soft and warm, and makes me soooo happy. Because now I can go outside with a jacket and I’m not still freezing. I’ve been wearing a track-ish jacket for a few years because it’s small enough to fit under other jackets, but it wasn’t providing quite enough warmth. So we went to old navy on Saturday and I got a warm fleece jacket with built in hand warmers. ^.^ My mood has gone up several notches over the last few days because of it (I like to be warm).

Saturday night we went to a concert with Alex’s family to see Elizabeth Von Trapp (yeah, the sound of music people). I wasn’t really sure what to expect, but her performance was amazing. She’s not a musician you could really sing along to, or with, but what she does with her voice and the words that she chooses in the songs that she writes is something that is more like painting than singing. She’s an illustrator with words and uses her voice like a painter uses a brush. I’ve never seen anything quite like that before, and it was amazing – completely unexpected,  so very artistic and stunning. I couldn’t help but feeling that she’s transcended the world of musicians and crossed a bridge and what she does and how she does it, is art. and it’s lovely.

Yesterday, Alex and I ended up finishing (sort of) a short we came up with the other day, and that was a blast. I love filming with him. We’re only able to do it on nights and weekends, but I love it. It’s fun to get out of our comfort zones and try new things (in the comfort and seclusion of our studio ;) ) and learn what we’re good at and comfortable with and figure out new things. The longest thing is post-production and adding in things and cutting things together, which I can’t really help with (because it’s all on Alex’s computer) but I love seeing what it’s like at all the stages. ^.^

Inspirational Wednesday

Earlier this year I signed up for an email list called The Brave Girls Club. Everyday they send me an email with a letter. I don’t read all of them, but sometimes (a lot of times) they write something that I *really* needed to hear and know about myself and it makes me really happy. Something as simple as a generic email that they send to thousand of women who need to hear the same thing whether they know it or not – makes me feel special, because it feeds a bit of my soul with truths about myself I would never admit. I’ve been wanting to share one here for a while, but never really knew if I should or not. But it inspires me, and makes me feel good, so I thought today that I’d share what’s been helping me a little bit over the year…

Brave Girls Club Email